came back

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hi.

i saw your face today. it was only in a picture, and i wasn't sure if it was you, but you came back. i think that mattered most to me. the fact that even mountains of doubt couldn't keep you away.

i pray for you.
the night seeps into my bones and i stay up too late with your name on my mind. let him see, let him see, let him see. 
the Lord hears.

i pray you know that as well.
even in my doubt, i know that. He hears and i have no reason to worry.

i love you.

i think you need to hear that. these days are getting colder and the air dries. but i hope that this Love warms your bones and you finally let go.

please.
let the Shepherd take you back home.

i'm waiting.
x

the sun set

i scrubbed the plates as laughs echoed through the walls of my home. the sun set outside the window and i hummed a song that sounded something like your name.
     peace thrummed in my heart.
(and hey.
i miss you more than ever right now.
   you know that. i cried when i heard your voice because it was so far away.)

she set in glory, you know. the Maker's handiwork telling stories golden and orange and the stars were peeking out. summer has left our hands and we can rest knowing it'll be okay.

we can rest knowing it'll be okay.

i hope you know that when you feel so alone that even the morning does not cheer you up. i hope you know that when you snuggle up in your blankets and moonlight patterns the wall.

He is peace.

x

clear this head

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i put your name in a bottle,

and i sent it down the rushing river.

to clear this head.

clear.

clear.

clear.

i dreamed about you all night long

and i woke up

exhausted.

because this is not what it's supposed to be like.

and i wish my heart knew that.

there's a heavy fog.

fog.

fog.

fog.

time to go, darling.

find the Shepherd tending to his flock

and sit beside the quiet waters.

x

sleep has been my enemy lately.

(but my God is greater than that.)

cold

via

it's been cold.
colder than you could believe.

maybe it's my own fault. i wouldn't be surprised.
but tonight,
under these leaves, under this sky,
i don't think it matters.

i breathe winter because it's in my blood.
it always has been.