still

via pinterest

via pinterest

the sea laps against the shore outside, foamed with forgotten things. the window twists the sun into comforting patterns. i seek for bitterness left in my heart,

but i can't even find crumbs. 

time sits with me, and it is slow. the day does not pass as quickly as i want it to. my mind is too distraught to do anything else, and too lonely to be left alone.

still, we are, only the ticking of the clock heard throughout the house. i yawn and my bare feet are silent on the ground. there is nothing to find, but still i go. books cannot hold my attention and i am not in the mood for screens. 

i grab a glass of milk, and sit again. i do not know how to describe the passing time because it goes by so slowly that even minutes seem longer than anything else. my mind drifts to you. there is no resentment there. i am okay. 

memories tell me that i would be miserable, and i can't help but laugh. because i am not miserable, but a little disappointed. not too much. like the smallness of expecting a letter and finding none in the mailbox. 

no more doubts. no more mulling. it is time for me to move on and find something to do. the hours have passed, not a thing done. i understand a little more about love. 

- c.d/b.