the house of my heart

via pinterest

there are words stuck in my heart

that never make it to my mouth.

somewhere between here and there,

between my courage and fear,

stuck in my throat.

today i stopped and looked around the house of my heart,

and found "dear you"s and "i miss you"s crinkled up.

and today i knew it was time to sweep and clean.

so i scrubbed the floors and sent the dirt out the door.

but i saw a corner of an envelope

peeking from behind the couch.

the letter was one from you,

and it said, "i love you too."

i kept this one.

not quite sure what this one means, but i think it's good. xx 

not too far

via tumblr 

hey sunshine.

i know you're tired, and i know you want to go back. back across the yellow-dotted road, miles and miles, back to the where Summer houses. i know you can hardly stand it here, but i know that our God is good and that He is with you even now. He will be with you wherever you go.

look up. see the big dipper? oh, you can see her back Home where the cicadas lie in the grass and hum their tune. and if you can see her from there, you know you're not too far.

not too far.

hey, don't be afraid to love and love and love. don't be afraid to take in the whole sky and feel that overwhelm who you are. don't be afraid to open those eyes as wide as you can and see the things put before you. don't be afraid to say hello.

and if you are afraid, do it anyway. she told you. she told you. take heart, small one, and believe. and trust and run and go for it. don't look back. seek the One who made you. don't quiver. don't tremble.

the Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him.

see you soon. x

endings are not always sad

via

i looked into your eyes and the future flashed by for a second.
laughter lines. good times. lessons learned.
there we were with bright souls under the old ponderosa pines.
and then the moment passed.
but there it was, the beginnings of the future,
written across your crazy face.

the sun set without us, but we felt it in our souls.
endings are not always sad.
i thought the holes in my heart would stay empty forever.
behold, the Lord is good to me!
the heavens shake and i fall to my knees.
the Lord is good.
here you are. here we are.
things aren't as lost as i thought they were.

O Lord my God, I cried to you and you have healed me. 

psalm 30:2

june twenty-first

via tumblr

dear you,

you are not forgotten. the clouds drift across the sky and you watch them, nothing quite solid forming in your mouth yet. there is nothing to say. there are days for that. do not worry.

being alone is easy. you know the freedom in running away...until you walk back. because things don't change how you would like them to. you do the wrong things. say the wrong things. nothing works out. it's easier when there's nothing to say. 

thunder shakes the earth tonight, but the rain does not
                                                                                                   fall. 

you know the weight of not letting go. and trying but unable to. some things stick like melted marshmallows and you can not get them off. 

hey.
you're still loved.

when you have nothing to say. when you use all the wrong words. when you cannot even form a simple sentence and trip over your words.

you're still loved.

when you assume the wrong things. when you think someone misses you but they don't. when you realize you aren't as important to someone as you once thought. 

y o u  a r e  s t i l l  l o v e d. 

when you run until your lungs burst. when you are a coward. when you can't tell someone you're sorry. when you yell. when the storm is heavy. when you're angry. when you leave. 
when you feel like you've fallen from grace.

hey.
you're still loved. 
even when you don't feel like you are. 

His love is over. it's underneath. it's inside. it's in between. 

you know who i am.
xx 

p.s. look up deuteronomy 31:6. this promise is kept. hold on to it.