in circles

and the world before my eyes was spinning in circles,
in circles, in circles.

i was crumbling hard, but i spun faster in circles,
in circles, in circles.

words stumbled out of my mouth,
and i could hardly keep the tears from tumbling out.
a goodbye trembled on my tongue,
and fell out into ruins, into ruins.

the waves came graceful and relentless,
taking collisions of sounds away.

until i was left with smoldering flames of
"i miss you"s and "i love you"s.

A Letter to September

dear September,

you have hit me hard.

I'm not quite sure what I mean by that. 

Perhaps I've been in a flurry of busyness and turning and finding and falling. You've hit me in the chest and all my breath has escaped from my grasp.

Time keeps going and going, and I feel like I am falling behind. 

But, I find that it's okay.

I'm not upset, I'm not in a hurry, I'm not lost. 

I'm in-between flying and being stuck on the ground. 

I can touch the stars with my fingertips, but I cannot hold onto them. My feet brush against the red dirt upon the ground, but not quite buried in it. 

Oh, September, how I finally understand you. You aren't quite in Autumn, you aren't quite in Spring. A little of both, I suppose. Pieces of both tucked into a coat pocket. 

And we're both okay with it.

With love,
Candence 

9.11.2015

it was a faint smell, 

but i recognized it.

the smell of campfire smoke

that sinks into

e v e r y 

l i t t l e

t h i n g

it touches.

it broke me right then,

when i realized it.

the smell of a million memories

buried deep in my roots.

something i couldn't escape,

even if i wanted to.

it was a part of me,

wrapping itself around my heart,

rejoicing in every heart beat.

just seeping into my bones,

as a river flows through the mountains.

blue skies that burn themselves into your memory,

the heavy, fresh dirt that sinks into your shoes.

it was just a smell,

but even those can be powerful. 

i hardly understand you anymore

via

i hardly understand you anymore

i don't know if you decided i wasn't worth it

or if you thought you weren't worth it

you're searching for a place,

and you say you're not,

but maybe because you haven't found it yet.

i hardly understand you anymore

and it's breaking my heart

because i saw you growing

but now you're withering

you leaving.

i don't know why.

it hurts.

you never even said goodbye.

and i'll never understand why i loved you

but...maybe it was because you needed someone too.

goodbye, tired boy.

i'll miss you.

xx